Adoption Disruption featured on 20/20 - September 5, 2008

I received this in an email from Joyce Sterkel, who is the manager of The Ranch for Kids, a Montana program that offers respite and adoption services for children who have experienced adoption disruptions.

"ABC's 20/20 will air a program about adoption disruption on Sept. 5th 2008. This program was filmed in part at The Ranch For Kids. They rescheduled us from the original date in July so as to avoid the Olympics and political conventions. There will be a follow-up segment on Nightline with my adult son Sasha who was adopted from a disruption at age 14.
Please give us and ABC any feed back after you see the program.
We are hoping for the best and that it will draw awareness to the growing problems for families with international adoptees.
We look forward to hearing back from you.
Our best wishes and thanks for continued support of our efforts with families and children in crisis."
The note was signed by Joyce Sterkel, Director & Bill Sutley Ranch Manager

I know I'll be watching.

Check your local television listings for time.

Don't be lost in translation

If you're interested in adopting from a non-English speaking country and have been trying to do research on the Web only to find a promising site is presented in a language you don't understand, don't despair: Google Translate is to the rescue!

Check it out:
http://translate.google.com/translate_tools?hl=en&sl=ru&tl=en

Choose from more than 20 languages.

How dare they call us non-moms?

What's wrong with Teleflora is what's wrong with the rest of the world. That may seem like hyperbole, but wait.

In describing adoptive mothers for a contest they jointly sponsored for this year's Mother's Day, they invited people to nominate their favorite "moms" by writing an essay about what makes that person special. There's a category for working moms, military moms, and also a category for "non-moms" which, folks, I have to say, was where they plopped adoptive moms.

For starters, don't these people have proofreaders to check for accuracy? Don't their copywriters know what adoption is? Apparently not. And worse, the brains who conceptualized all this, and the other geniuses who signed off on it, must be the same people who say to adoptive parents, "Are you sure you want to adopt? Who knows what you'll be getting?"

The site verbiage has been changed. It now reads:

"Teleflora is immediately changing the name of our "Non-Mom" category to "Adopting Moms". After closer examination, we can see how this may have been offensive to moms who have adopted children -- moms who are indeed real moms to their children in every sense of the word. In fact, many of us at Teleflora are “adopting” parents ourselves, including our president and owner. The essence of this category still focuses on a grandparent, neighbor, step mom, or mom to adopted or foster children, each one raising and loving a child. This show of insensitivity on our part was in no way intended and we deeply apologize for any concern or distress we may have caused. It was always our intent to salute and celebrate all moms."

Why do we have to be placed in a category outside of the mainstream "Mom" category in the first place? This is a question I've pondered ever since I became a mom, and I've hated having to accept that adoption is still seen as second best, and that adoptive moms are, in a way, seen as a second-best form of mother--though we are not better or worse than any other mother, we just come by motherhood on a different path.

Here is the link to website, now with the new verbiage that is still, in my opinion, insincere:
http://www.americasfavoritemom.com/mothers-day-2008/static/semiFinalists

My adoption truth, 1999

About my daughters, who were a teen and a "tween" when we first saw them. All I knew for sure was this: I wanted these children as much as any mother wants the unborn baby who swims silently in her stomach.

Never a question.
Never a doubt.

Most adoptive parents know exactly what I mean.

Adoption Statistics

The number of children born out of the United States adopted by US citizens is always in flux. This chart, which details the number of immigrant visas issued to orphans coming to the US, is published every year by the State Department. China has topped the list since 2000. Keep checking back to see which country will be the leader in 2008.

http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/stats/stats_451.html

A cornucopia of adoption bumper stickers--who knew?

Save a life; adopt.
Adopt. I did.
Adopt them, don't kill them.
I love adoption.
Celebrate adoption.
Adopt. Because every single child is entitled to a family.
Pro-Adoption. Because every child deserves a family.
Adoption is an option.
Opt to adopt.
We don't have to look alike to be a forever family.
Consider adoption.
Adoptees deserve their original birth certificates.
Adoption not abortion.

[the list goes on]

And what they said, 2008

"What happened to their real family?" they ask, while looking me straight in the eye.
Never biological, birth, genetic, Russian--always real.